Busy, Busy!

While I haven't managed to finish a whole lot, I have been working on several projects and the ones I have managed to finish are fulfilling.

Ariana's room still needs to have texture put on the rest of the ceiling and then have a coat of paint put over it when it dries, then the floor goes down and she can move in! Grandma got sick 2 days into her visit and wasn't able to help much - but she did work for about an hour while the Tylenol had her fever down. I figure a full day of work to finish texturing and painting and another day to lay the floor. We'll get there soon.

While my long-time friend Diana was here for a visit last week we started sorting through the stored clothes, and I found that I am more than covered for a boy or girl pretty much through adulthood, or whenever they start having strong opinions about what they will wear. I took 4 yard debris sized garbage bags full of clothes that were stained or really worn or ones I just really didn't like (too 'mature' for little girls or sayings like "Girls Rule and Boys Drool", etc) to Goodwill. Then I have another 12 or so 13 galleon bags of clothes that weren't my favorites that are set aside potentially for a garage sale - and that was just the 1st time through size newborn-12. I have all the 14/16-adult sizes to still go through (including all the things Jeff and I will never wear again), and I have to go through the smaller sizes again. I am trying to limit the clothes to 1 18 galleon tote for each size for each sex (ie 1 2t tote for boys, 1 2t tote for girls, 1 for each in 3t and 4t, etc). I will have 27 totes when I narrow it down to that, and it is still too much since coats, snow clothes and shoes are not included, but it is a step in the right direction. At this point I have to get rid of about an 18 gal tote worth of 2t and 4t boys and 2t, 3t and 4t girls and I have to count out things to see if 6/6x, 7/8 and up can fit enough clothes in a single tote to work. My goal is to try and make some money off the clothes at a garage sale (or maybe two) since having an unemployed husband makes me see the $ as a way to keep the savings from disappearing completely. Plus, I told the kids if they help, they get a portion of the sales for themselves. If the garage sale thing gets too daunting or if/when things just aren't moving, then I will take it to our homeschool group and let people take whatever they want, then take the rest to Snowcap or another organization that offers things at a price poorer people can actually afford (unlike Goodwill and Salvation Army as far as clothes go). Being realistic, if I can't manage to get the garage sale thing together before April when Baby Riggs is due, then I will just let the junk go. While the $ would be great, not having the burden of stuff is better. Lots to do on this, probably 4-5 full days of work to get just the clothes finished.

Then of course I have 3 or so big boxes of toy sets that have all their pieces, several more boxes of VHS and misc junk and 8-10 boxes of misc collectibles and things Jeff (and I) have had for years that need to be condensed and possibly sold. He has already started selling video games to pay for newer games - made $95 there so far. I know recent video games are significantly different than misc junk, but I like the thought of turning our clutter that is just sitting in the basement into $. I don't expect a lot and just like with the clothes, I will dump it if the garage sale thing ends up more hassle than it is worth.


I fixed the leak in (well actually out of) the bathtub and figured out where the kitchen sink is leaking from (still have to fix that) and the most likely culprit for the bathroom sink issues. Once I replace the kitchen sink and faucet (mid-end of Feb if all goes well), I can use the remaining caulk to fix the bathroom sink and touch up the bathtub to make sure there are no more leaks.


I managed to finish a retreat this weekend that was very interesting and enlightening - I even did my homework during the week long break between part 1 and 2. It was quite valuable to see how the whole set up for that homeschool group was further developed and a solid direction was chosen for the future of the group. I am excited to see how these changes will affect the group in this next year. Yes, I am taking notes on what worked, what hasn't and my suspicions as to why which will help me with new groups down the road. I suppose on one hand it is bad to be watching as if it were a maze and they were the lab rats, but since I am right there running with them (though still maintaining enough distance to see the big picture) maybe it isn't so bad?

At the end of the retreat we squeezed in an affirmation exercise where people said positive things about each attendee. It was humorous that the first word used to describe me was "unique". I seem to remember "intellectual," "knowledgeable" and something about "bringing people together" and/or "being memorable" and "keeping people on task," but "unique" sticks with me. I like that. Those kind of exercises are not ones I look forward to because I find them awkward, but I understand their value esp to emotional/empathetic people. I guess it was nice to hear what people thought about me too. It at least lets me know that I am not too far off in my own assessment of the image people have of me.


A huge YEA! was getting the couch situation resolved. I haven't bought a couch ever. Since they are well used when we get them, they tend to last about 3 years before they are literally falling apart and need to be replaced. This last couch was dead before we got it (we were told the couch was a nicer newer one, and after a friend's brother picked it up as a favor we discovered that it was pretty bad), but since it was in better condition than the one we had, we traded up with the intention I would finish rebuilding the arm of the nice couch in the garage (another one given to us) soon. Well, that was 3 years ago. I actually at one point had the arm almost finished and then the kids walked on it because the couch had junk piled on it and they couldn't see/didn't care and demolished the work I had done. Rather frustrated I gave up and said we would just go to Salvation Army (where we had some store credit) and get a replacement and take the one in the garage along with the one in the house to the dump. 3 things I didn't consider: 1, most people (or at least the ones who donate) had pets which means the couch had hair all over it or smelled like animals and therefore had dander (both major allergy issues); 2, more than half the couches were hide-a-beds which made them too heavy for my pregnant self, my dad with back problems and my husband to move on our own; and 3, because couches cost so much new even Salvation Army charges $200-$400 for a couch. There were exceptions to the rule including a bunch that were in the $150-$175 range, but those were either covered in hair, hide-a-beds or both. We did manage to come on a 50% off day, which made the prices more reasonable but Jeff and I decided it would be more trouble than it was worth to try and make something work. We ended up deciding to bring the couch from the garage in putting the broken arm next to the wall. My dad helped us get the old couch out and broken down enough to fit in his truck and the garage couch in. Then he helped me get the arm as patched together as we could. We replaced the bent wood screws and added bracing to the ends with chunks ripped off (it would have been better to get whole new pieces of wood, but not now) so it works. It is not very sturdy and I have a feeling we will end up with an armless couch down the road since both arms were not put on very well in the first place, but we have a couch completely covered in upholstery! Unlike the one we just got rid of that was mostly wood with a little cardboard, literally. I would very much like to shampoo the couch since it picked up quite a bit of dirt sitting in the garage for 3 years, but it is comfortable and works for now. I know that cleaning it wouldn't last anyway - one of those guarantees about having a house full of children, there will always be dirt and whatever the kids touch will end up covered in dirt. Besides, there are many things I'd rather put my energy towards than keeping the couch clean.


I've also made some great progress on the plan for setting up/dividing up the one large homeschool group and I have swayed others to see how this is a good thing. A few more people to volunteer in leadership positions and some more information from more seasoned homeschoolers, and I am ready to take the plunge and see how it all unfolds.


It is exciting and energizing to see all the progress I've made in the last month. There is more to do, but I am confident that at least some of it will get done before Baby Riggs becomes the center of my attention.

3 months to go!

Whoo Hoo!!! Third Trimester today (depending on the kind of calendar you look at anyway)! Just a few days ago I commented that I thought I was only 24 weeks, then I actually paid attention to the pregnancy counter widget and discovered I was off by quite a bit. That explains why I have had to eat smaller meals, breathing is more difficult and I can't pick things up from the floor as easily.

I don't think I paid much attention with the last few pregnancies to what trimester I was in, but the widget makes paying attention easier and more fun.

Ingredients

I'm going to end up seeing everything with network/community glasses now, but I think there is enough good information for it to be beneficial.

Thus far the homeschool groups I have belonged to:

A Girl Scout troop was really at the center of this group. Everyone had different beliefs and few belonged to any organized religion and the average family size (excluding me) had 2 children. However, almost all of us were unschoolers or were close to it. The friends I had within that group supported me as I figured out the best schooling for my family (I started with the group the 1st year of homeschooling). When the Girl Scout part of the group fell apart, everyone pretty much ended up going their own way. I do miss some of the people and I see others in other groups, but our purpose together as a group really is done.

Then I joined a large secular metro group I've never done a whole lot with. They have an annual conference and curriculum sale (which I've never attended), and I've gotten ideas from them on various curriculum, advice, etc. I've gone on a few field trips because of someone hosting or just because it sounded interesting. It really does feel like a network though. There aren't any personal connections and you might find a good close friend out of the 200 or so families that belong, but it doesn't feel like that is the purpose of the group.

After a while, someone had the brilliant idea of creating a support group specifically to serve people living in a small geographic area. I thought this was great and jumped in right away. I watched as they discussed, debated and drew up plans for what their group would be. Fresh from my Youth Ministry work, I offered ideas and tried to keep them focussed on serving the community of homeschoolers and not an elite few. To say my ideas were met with resistance would be a bit of an understatement. We had I think 10 volunteers on a "board" working to figure out what the group would offer, and I think I was the only one who talked to actual homeschoolers in the community who were interested in the group. I had 4 members of the board as well as myself who felt strongly that anything being offered needed to allow for those who were not interested in classes (a school outreach program that allowed homeschoolers to take several classes a week had recently been cancelled and half of the board ended up being parents who missed that program and were facing their 1st year as real homeschoolers), and there should not be any religious doctrine as part of the group (if someone wanted to have a religious class that was up to them, but as a whole it would turn people off to spout bible quotes every 2 sentences within the purpose of the group). There was even 1 or 2 people who were relatively neutral on the topics, but 2 of the remaining 3 were technically the leadership of the group. While debating the value of offering a free or pay per event option (which they strongly opposed because insurance costs were so high and they felt everyone should contribute whether taking classes or not) as well as arguing for a per family instead of a per child charge (to which the leader's 2nd also her sister-in-law replied that she shouldn't have to "subsidize" larger families who are using a larger portion of the resources), I tried to get a firm answer on the board's power. I wanted the board to be able to vote to make decisions, but the leadership kept putting off my concerns. Then at the next get-together, the board was informed that we were officially set up as a non-profit with the leader having sole ownership and control of the group. The board was essentially a group of volunteers with no power. Of course it was not stated that way, we were told that all our concerns would be taken into account, but the leader would make the final decision. At that point I was frustrated enough to step down as did 2 others who shared my views. I followed the group a bit, and watched as they struggled first with having enough people to be able to pay for expenses, raised their rates and changed class structure (so that you had to have your child in 3 classes at a time and you didn't get to choose what they were) to look more and more like school. Then they had trouble finding space. It turns out that if you are a private school and/or charter and can pay more for the space, you get it - even though as the leader pointed out she was a member of the church and had helped raise the funds to build the classrooms. Oh well. Once they lost their space and had few people re-enrolling the leader felt "called" to a job opening and left the group. The really sad thing is many of those families who were interested in the classes ended up putting their kids back in public school. I don't think there are many left officially part of that group anymore, though occasional field trips are announced.

Once I left the above group, I decided to start another group that would definitely qualify as a network. It was much like the large metro group, but just for my side of town. We announce various things, go together for field trips, have park days (and a game and craft group during winter), ask advice, etc.

I'm sure there are other groups here and there that I missed, but those are the big ones that felt very network like. They were impersonal, and had a single purpose and once the purpose was no longer my focus, all those people fell out of my life.


I believe what HR has is different in several ways. For one it is a Catholic group, just by being Catholic and homeschooling we have a whole lifestyle that doesn't fit with any other group the same way. The biggest "problem" we are having now is people who are not homeschooling anymore or who will never homeschool, but are a big part of the parish, want to be part of the homeschool group because we really are like an extended family. My training has me going back to the network-style set up where we enforce the policy and set rules based upon what is best for the "group" not necessarily the people within the group. I am wondering now if maybe there is a better way to go.

If the personal connections and support of ones convictions are what make HR different from the other homeschool groups, then there needs to be a way to support that. We will still set and enforce policy, but we have to keep that support at the center of everything.

It makes me lean more towards having an umbrella group that covers the whole metro area (so people can still have field trips, the newsletter, support meetings, a curriculum fair, etc) and smaller "satellite" groups where people can build those personal connections at a local level. The salellites will set their own rules for membership, so a parish can support the group however it wants. The important thing being that homeschoolers can offer and find the support they need on a personal level.

There is still a lot to work out, but it looks like the skeleton of this idea will work.

The Search for Community

One of my more recent projects is to figure out the best direction for a Catholic homeschool group that has reached the point in growth that something has to change. It truely is a great problem to have, but it is still concerning to try and find the best solution for everyone involved. Since the group has been around for 20 years, there are those who have graduated their kids or are almost done and their children are now starting to homeschool their own children as part of the group (and both want to remain part of the group even when not homeschooling). Plus the majority who found the group as the only Catholic homeschool group here and are somewhere in between. The biggest problem in having so many members is that it leads to what feels like too few people who are actually involved - becoming volunteers, coming to functions and meetings, etc. If you have 131 families (meaning a total membership closer to 700) in the group and only 15-20 come to the monthly support meetings and it is a struggle to get 30 kids to service projects, it feels like something is off.

When I worked in Youth Ministry, one of the things that stuck with me most was the idea that it isn't the numbers that matter, but the quality that the kids are getting. Having a program that is just "fun" will draw in many teens, but they never move forward in their faith nor as a community. Thus it is far more important to mix fun with learning and community-building, even at the expense of those greater numbers. The goal of the Church (based upon my certificate training) is to build community and call those young people into that Catholicism - to help them understand their faith and embrace it however God is calling them.

All these thoughts and more have been floating around in my head for a while with no real direction or connection. I have an idea of where I think the group should be headed, and even some thoughts on how to get there, but nothing that has felt complete.

Then, over the last few days I found myself re-reading "Dumbing Us Down" by John Taylor Gatto and I came across some interesting passages that make me think I've found another piece of the puzzle that is the solution for our group.

"An important difference between communities and institutions is that communities have natural limits; they stop growing or they die. There's a good reason for this: in the best communities everyone is a special person who sooner or later impinges on everyone else's consciousness. The effects of this constant attention make all, rich or poor, feel important, because the only way importance is perceived is by having other folks pay attention to you."

Gatto's focus is on "forced schooling" as an institution, and in the chapter I quote above he was pointing out the differences between networking, family and community. Institutions aka networks must continue growing or they die. Also, as networks grow they tend to replace the family (or at least try to by taking up all the time that should be spent together as a family), whereas communities support families, and families must be the foundation of a healthy society. The distiction between networks and communities is the key.

In many ways we have a community, but as we continue to grow, those personal connections are becoming more difficult to attain. However, that connection is what everyone seems to crave. It is what they are searching for and why they joined the group in the first place. So, now to start putting the pieces together to create something unique that can offer the kind of community we are all searching for...

Congressional Reform Act of 2010

I'm not a big fan of junk emails, but I really liked this one. I found it at Mommy Life, a Catholic mom with 12 kids, an interesting outlook and blog.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!

I am sending this to virtually all my close friends and relatives and that includes conservatives, liberals, and everybody in between. Even though we disagree on a number of issues, I count all of you as friends. The proposal is to promote a "Congressional Reform Act of 2010." It would contain eight provisions, all of which would probably be strongly endorsed by those who drafted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights (but not the incumbents).

I know many of you will say, "this is impossible." Let me remind you, Congress has the lowest approval of any entity in Government, now is the time when Americans will join together to reform Congress - the entity that represents us. We need to get a Senator to introduce this bill in the US Senate and a Representative to introduce a similar bill in the US House. These people will become American heroes.. Please add any ideas on how to get this done.

Thanks, A Fellow American

***********************************

Congressional Reform Act of 2010

1. Term Limits: 12 years only, one of the possible options below.
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



2. No Tenure / No Pension: A congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security: All funds in the Congressional retirement fund moves to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, Congress participates with the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, server your term(s), then go home and back to work.



4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan just as all Americans..

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career.. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



7. Congress must equally abide in all laws they impose on the American people..

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.



8. All contracts with past and present congressmen are void effective 1/1/11. The American people did not make this contract with congressmen, congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.


Now to figure out how to make this a reality...

4 Days to Go

T-Minus 4 days until family arrives and lots to still do. Time to make lists so that I can have a chance at getting most of it done. Now the big question - do I make adding to our pre-history timeline a priority or cleaning the house? Hmmm, impress the in-laws with obvious "school" work or with housekeeping improvements?

Unfortunately I've managed to catch the baby's cold. With family coming in next week and the house a disaster because I have spent so much time working on Ariana's room (which is almost done), I'm hoping to beat this by tomorrow.

I still have to go shopping, supervise and help get the house cleaned and lead the Homeschool Support meeting before they come. I would really like to finish straightening the garage, clean at least part of the basement and finish Ariana's room. Things that won't happen unless I can get over the worst of the cold.

Ariana's room is *almost* done! The dry wall is all up the 2nd coat of mud is on the last corner (3rd coat tomorrow). All that will be left Sunday is the final sanding of the walls, then we can paint (assuming we mix texture into the paint). I left it up to Ariana to decide if we will wait for family to help with painting at the end of next week, or if we will get it done sooner. I still have put in the breaker for the outlets, put in the door and the floating laminate floor, but that should be done in a day or two once the painting is finished. I think she is almost as excited as I am! I have to post some pictures before it is all finished.

I am already thinking ahead to working on the kitchen. If Ariana decides to wait on painting, I may have my dad help me get the new kitchen sink and faucet in this weekend. I have visions of being able to bathe Baby Riggs in the sink - something that doesn't work so well in the 1/2 section of stainless steel sink we have now.

It is interesting to me that instead of nesting by organizing and cleaning like I have in the past, my nesting involves construction on the house. I wonder if that will in any way reflect Baby Rigg's personality - either he/she wants/needs more space or is going to be a hands-on kinda person. I just have to remember not to push myself too hard.