It's hard to believe Advent is almost over! While we haven't managed to do anywhere near as much as I had hoped for Advent, it was rewarding to have my oldest comment that this year it 'feels' like Advent. I have missed the seasonal music though. I need to find a good Advent CD for next year. Any ideas?
I think the biggest challenge has been having Jeff home, not because of any problem with him, but because of our schedule being thrown off. The days have blurred together which makes it difficult to keep track of what needs to be accomplished when. There were a couple times in the last month where I didn't even remember we had to get up early for Mass the next day until Jeff reminded me. That is not a good sign. When all the kids' classes/groups start again that will help with separating the days at least. After losing yesterday to caffeine withdrawal exhaustion and a headache, I have decided that this is a bad time to try and show my body that I have control over it. Maybe in a couple weeks I'll try to cut out the coffee to reset my caffeine tolerance...
I am looking forward to Christmas, despite not being anywhere near ready for it. There are still 2 days to get something for Jeff, wrap presents, go through packed clothes and toys to find things for the little girls and work on projects like Ariana's room that still isn't done. Jeff's present should probably take priority today. I hate shopping anywhere at anytime and while it should be pretty easy to get something off his list, it means going out into the crowds, yuck! I should probably do it now before the crowds get bad. Jeff liked the idea of giving presents for the whole Christmas season so that we don't have to wrap everything at once, yeh! I may even be able to get Ariana's room done enough for painting by Epiphany, so it may still be a Christmas present afterall - though laying the floor and adding moulding would come after the paint dries.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Intelligence and Ender's Game
I have been reading Ender's Game and it has gotten me thinking. In the introduction written by Orson himself, he included part of a letter written by a woman who claims that she works with gifted kids and she emphasized that gifted kids don't think the way Orson describes in his book. I feel sorry for the kids she worked with. I remember having so-called teachers that were boring and useless because they didn't understand how we thought - or at least how I thought. I also had major issues with the popular snotty, spoiled upper middle class kids that were in the program with me. It colored my opinion enough that I couldn't wait to leave and be with my friends again, and ended up begging to be dropped out of the 'gifted' program - I did eventually get my way when I was 11 and figured out how to make them allow me out.
At the beginning of Ender's Game I had doubts about kids being able to think and talk the way that Orson described, but then I thought of my own childhood. Growing up I always observed situations before getting involved in them. I could tell you little things about people, places and situations that very few outsiders could know, just from observation. I remember being able to do so as young as 4 or 5 years old. No, I take that back, I remember an incident at around 1 year old (based upon the outfit I was wearing when the picture was taken) where my cousins and brother were teasing me with a toy and I was frustrated and knew that as soon as I got the toy from them I was going to put it where they would not take it from me. From pictures and hearing my mom tell the story, that place was in my mouth. I just remember being embarrassed when all the big people were laughing at me, and I knew I had handled things incorrectly. I may not have had the words to express my observations, feelings and thoughts, but I knew based upon the actions of those around me that I had misjudged my reaction - the boys were still wrong/mean in my mind, it was just my action that was wrong. Even my description of the incident is off a bit because I remember thinking in feelings, there was no calculated planned action or reaction as you would see in an older child, it was feelings and actions that expressed those feelings. Not an easy thing to describe. As I got older I became better at understanding what I saw and felt as well as what the expected reaction was. It was a very useful tool in school - being able to always give the answer that was wanted, whether I believed it or not.
That made me realize that it wasn't the kids in the book that made it feel off, but the way the adults acted towards the kids. If you have adults who are willing to speak to children as if they can reason and think, then they learn how to speak intelligently at younger ages. I'm sure the Wiggin children are quite a bit beyond me as far as intelligence goes, but it was the idea of what children can achieve if they are expected and allowed to think and share their thoughts. I still have trouble with my immediate reactions to comments made, in part because as a public school kid I learned that the best way to get through is to not be noticed and to above all not react (offering me very little practice to draw on today) - the kids in my school were particularly cruel. Being in a metro area full of very intelligent people, the children were naturally more likely to be intelligent and we could run circles around the teachers and yard supervisors who were one step above bumbling idiots. Well, that's not entirely fair. Every now and then there was an intelligent teacher, but I don't think they had the time nor inclination to actually pay attention to how the kids treated each other. My siblings did not handle the cruelty well and still are scarred from it. I created my own gang of outcasts (few of whom were in the 'gifted' class) and when we were together no one teased us. I think the teasing was all that much more insidious because these bright kids knew how to find a kids weakness and then exploit it - much like the 6-9 year olds in Ender's Game. Looking back, it really amazed me how well he did at describing intelligent children.
Taking that thought one step further, I realized how sad it is that we as a society feel only the "gifted" kids should be given opportunities in school to be removed from the classroom/jail cell to learn in new ways using teamwork and problem solving. There is a program in Washington that I have heard amazing things about that offers kids a real education - hands on, problem solving situations where they must use their intellect to find solutions (including studying on their own time to prepare for the next challenge). As neat as it sounds, I'm sure that even the most 'average' child would be able to excel in such an environment.
Just as Orson points out in Ender's Game, the real learning was in the Battleroom where kids had to think in order to win. There is no reason to force kids to "learn the basics" before being able to use them. You don't spend years teaching a child about music: what it is, how it is made, the meaning behind certain songs, how to compose songs, etc before ever allowing them to hear a song! Just the opposite. They listen to music and almost all will sing long before they understand melody, instruments, etc. Then once they have a firm grasp of what something is, they will learn more about it out of natural curiosity. Some kids will learn more than others based upon desire or need (if you have a musical parent or siblings you have a vested interest in understanding what they are talking about). Other kids are content to know just the name of certain instruments they see and a few definitions they will hear others throw around and that is it. Even if you took said unmusical child and forced them into years of musical schooling, they would still not be interested and would probably end up hating music. It is impossible to force someone to learn something they don't care about.
Unschooling has nothing to do with not learning or forcing learning, but everything to do with need. If you want your child to value reading, then show them why it is valuable. Same with science, math, art, music, etc. Different kids will take things to different levels and you as the unschooling educator must be paying attention to where they are so that you can help them find more information on what they are interested in at that time.
More on unschooling next time I can sit and type.
I am very much enjoying Ender's Game.
At the beginning of Ender's Game I had doubts about kids being able to think and talk the way that Orson described, but then I thought of my own childhood. Growing up I always observed situations before getting involved in them. I could tell you little things about people, places and situations that very few outsiders could know, just from observation. I remember being able to do so as young as 4 or 5 years old. No, I take that back, I remember an incident at around 1 year old (based upon the outfit I was wearing when the picture was taken) where my cousins and brother were teasing me with a toy and I was frustrated and knew that as soon as I got the toy from them I was going to put it where they would not take it from me. From pictures and hearing my mom tell the story, that place was in my mouth. I just remember being embarrassed when all the big people were laughing at me, and I knew I had handled things incorrectly. I may not have had the words to express my observations, feelings and thoughts, but I knew based upon the actions of those around me that I had misjudged my reaction - the boys were still wrong/mean in my mind, it was just my action that was wrong. Even my description of the incident is off a bit because I remember thinking in feelings, there was no calculated planned action or reaction as you would see in an older child, it was feelings and actions that expressed those feelings. Not an easy thing to describe. As I got older I became better at understanding what I saw and felt as well as what the expected reaction was. It was a very useful tool in school - being able to always give the answer that was wanted, whether I believed it or not.
That made me realize that it wasn't the kids in the book that made it feel off, but the way the adults acted towards the kids. If you have adults who are willing to speak to children as if they can reason and think, then they learn how to speak intelligently at younger ages. I'm sure the Wiggin children are quite a bit beyond me as far as intelligence goes, but it was the idea of what children can achieve if they are expected and allowed to think and share their thoughts. I still have trouble with my immediate reactions to comments made, in part because as a public school kid I learned that the best way to get through is to not be noticed and to above all not react (offering me very little practice to draw on today) - the kids in my school were particularly cruel. Being in a metro area full of very intelligent people, the children were naturally more likely to be intelligent and we could run circles around the teachers and yard supervisors who were one step above bumbling idiots. Well, that's not entirely fair. Every now and then there was an intelligent teacher, but I don't think they had the time nor inclination to actually pay attention to how the kids treated each other. My siblings did not handle the cruelty well and still are scarred from it. I created my own gang of outcasts (few of whom were in the 'gifted' class) and when we were together no one teased us. I think the teasing was all that much more insidious because these bright kids knew how to find a kids weakness and then exploit it - much like the 6-9 year olds in Ender's Game. Looking back, it really amazed me how well he did at describing intelligent children.
Taking that thought one step further, I realized how sad it is that we as a society feel only the "gifted" kids should be given opportunities in school to be removed from the classroom/jail cell to learn in new ways using teamwork and problem solving. There is a program in Washington that I have heard amazing things about that offers kids a real education - hands on, problem solving situations where they must use their intellect to find solutions (including studying on their own time to prepare for the next challenge). As neat as it sounds, I'm sure that even the most 'average' child would be able to excel in such an environment.
Just as Orson points out in Ender's Game, the real learning was in the Battleroom where kids had to think in order to win. There is no reason to force kids to "learn the basics" before being able to use them. You don't spend years teaching a child about music: what it is, how it is made, the meaning behind certain songs, how to compose songs, etc before ever allowing them to hear a song! Just the opposite. They listen to music and almost all will sing long before they understand melody, instruments, etc. Then once they have a firm grasp of what something is, they will learn more about it out of natural curiosity. Some kids will learn more than others based upon desire or need (if you have a musical parent or siblings you have a vested interest in understanding what they are talking about). Other kids are content to know just the name of certain instruments they see and a few definitions they will hear others throw around and that is it. Even if you took said unmusical child and forced them into years of musical schooling, they would still not be interested and would probably end up hating music. It is impossible to force someone to learn something they don't care about.
Unschooling has nothing to do with not learning or forcing learning, but everything to do with need. If you want your child to value reading, then show them why it is valuable. Same with science, math, art, music, etc. Different kids will take things to different levels and you as the unschooling educator must be paying attention to where they are so that you can help them find more information on what they are interested in at that time.
More on unschooling next time I can sit and type.
I am very much enjoying Ender's Game.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A Downside of Secular Groups
The kids belong to 2 book groups, one younger and one 'tween' through our public library. We have been involved with them for a couple years now and have greatly enjoyed the social time as well as being exposed to some very interesting stories. There have been times that the books are not very good and we either skip them altogether or talk about them on our own before Book Group. I almost always go in with the kids and a few of us moms have gotten carried away with our own thoughts on the book - though we have gotten better about making sure the kids are the main ones talking. It has been a great experience overall.
I knew getting into this group that they were secular, and one of the other families was very secular - not openly anti-Christian or anti-religion, just not interested in religion at all, and the other one who came regularly had a Christian background and has no problem with religion, she just doesn't go out of her way to have it a part of her family's life. I have known the families in this group since we first started homeschooling and they helped me through those first rough years (meaning I have known them for about 9 years). We all unschool, so we have also had that in common and it has always been pleasant to be around them. When my oldest was in a homeschool girlscout troop, we saw these moms weekly and when the kids were in science classes at the local science museum and homeschool swimming, I got to see them three times a week for a couple hours at a time. One would assume these moms know me very well.
Since unschoolers unfortunately tend to be secular or even downright hostile towards religion, I have been used to being the odd-man-out in any group we are in. I am either the weird Christian or I am the weird Unschooler. It isn't too bad, it is how things are and I have no intention of changing to 'fit in' with either group.
But I digress, we always have a special craft at our December get-together so we were discussing what toppings could go on our hot cocoa cones, and candy canes came up. The leader of the group (not a mom, but a very nice lady who volunteers through the library), commented that once she 'found out' the meaning behind candy canes she could no longer eat them. Of course the question came up of what that meaning was and she said she hoped she didn't offend anyone, but candy canes are white for purity and red for the blood of Christ and she just couldn't eat them after that. The tension in the room went up as eyes turned to me to see if I would be "offended", and I honestly replied I have never liked candy canes. Hard candy and the type of mint they are just doesn't appeal to me. It bothers me that this was even an issue, with her or with anyone else in the group. I think it odd that you would stop eating something you liked because of a supposed meaning behind it that is so old very few people know or even care about that meaning, but I'm sure I have equally quirky things. Even more disturbing than the attitude of rejecting something specifically because of its Christian roots (though I'm sure her family finds some way to look past the Christian tradition of giving gifts and makes it their own), is the attitude that I might be the one to cause a problem about this. I was not really raised with any religion, my husband is not Catholic and most of my extended family is not Catholic - on my husband's side they are non-denominational and my side is mostly fallen away Catholic with my dad being New Age. I have never been one to judge the religious preferences of others nor to preach loudly about my own Faith. I am Catholic and I live my life in a Catholic way and raise my children to do the same. Anyone who knows me knows that I am very devoted to my Faith, but I had never gotten the impression that it was an issue. Of course the candy cane incident being an issue may be a fabrication of my 'fragile' hormonal state, but it still bothers me. I'm sure I will get over it, but I have visions of awkward situations in the future - esp next Book Group - where we all try to be ultra-PC and not 'offend' anyone. It didn't help that she wrapped up with, "Enjoy this holiday season however you celebrate it."
I would hate to lose the last ties to these unschoolers as I don't have any other unschooling friends to share with, and it is hard to share homeschooling frustrations and concerns with school-at-home types when philosophies are so different. We will see how it goes.
I suppose one could argue that the Holy Rosary and Holy Redeemer homeschool groups are ruining me! I have gotten used to talking about anything without holding back as well as celebrating Feast Days, sharing liturgical season traditions, talking politics, etc. I don't fit in perfectly with the groups (and find that I have to bite my tongue quite a bit when homeschooling styles comes up), but maybe I am becoming more sensitive to religious issues because I am immersed in these wonderful Catholic communities causing my normally thick skin to thin. If I had to choose unschoolers or Catholic, I will stay with the Catholic groups - though my ability to not comment on education styles may diminish as time goes on.
I knew getting into this group that they were secular, and one of the other families was very secular - not openly anti-Christian or anti-religion, just not interested in religion at all, and the other one who came regularly had a Christian background and has no problem with religion, she just doesn't go out of her way to have it a part of her family's life. I have known the families in this group since we first started homeschooling and they helped me through those first rough years (meaning I have known them for about 9 years). We all unschool, so we have also had that in common and it has always been pleasant to be around them. When my oldest was in a homeschool girlscout troop, we saw these moms weekly and when the kids were in science classes at the local science museum and homeschool swimming, I got to see them three times a week for a couple hours at a time. One would assume these moms know me very well.
Since unschoolers unfortunately tend to be secular or even downright hostile towards religion, I have been used to being the odd-man-out in any group we are in. I am either the weird Christian or I am the weird Unschooler. It isn't too bad, it is how things are and I have no intention of changing to 'fit in' with either group.
But I digress, we always have a special craft at our December get-together so we were discussing what toppings could go on our hot cocoa cones, and candy canes came up. The leader of the group (not a mom, but a very nice lady who volunteers through the library), commented that once she 'found out' the meaning behind candy canes she could no longer eat them. Of course the question came up of what that meaning was and she said she hoped she didn't offend anyone, but candy canes are white for purity and red for the blood of Christ and she just couldn't eat them after that. The tension in the room went up as eyes turned to me to see if I would be "offended", and I honestly replied I have never liked candy canes. Hard candy and the type of mint they are just doesn't appeal to me. It bothers me that this was even an issue, with her or with anyone else in the group. I think it odd that you would stop eating something you liked because of a supposed meaning behind it that is so old very few people know or even care about that meaning, but I'm sure I have equally quirky things. Even more disturbing than the attitude of rejecting something specifically because of its Christian roots (though I'm sure her family finds some way to look past the Christian tradition of giving gifts and makes it their own), is the attitude that I might be the one to cause a problem about this. I was not really raised with any religion, my husband is not Catholic and most of my extended family is not Catholic - on my husband's side they are non-denominational and my side is mostly fallen away Catholic with my dad being New Age. I have never been one to judge the religious preferences of others nor to preach loudly about my own Faith. I am Catholic and I live my life in a Catholic way and raise my children to do the same. Anyone who knows me knows that I am very devoted to my Faith, but I had never gotten the impression that it was an issue. Of course the candy cane incident being an issue may be a fabrication of my 'fragile' hormonal state, but it still bothers me. I'm sure I will get over it, but I have visions of awkward situations in the future - esp next Book Group - where we all try to be ultra-PC and not 'offend' anyone. It didn't help that she wrapped up with, "Enjoy this holiday season however you celebrate it."
I would hate to lose the last ties to these unschoolers as I don't have any other unschooling friends to share with, and it is hard to share homeschooling frustrations and concerns with school-at-home types when philosophies are so different. We will see how it goes.
I suppose one could argue that the Holy Rosary and Holy Redeemer homeschool groups are ruining me! I have gotten used to talking about anything without holding back as well as celebrating Feast Days, sharing liturgical season traditions, talking politics, etc. I don't fit in perfectly with the groups (and find that I have to bite my tongue quite a bit when homeschooling styles comes up), but maybe I am becoming more sensitive to religious issues because I am immersed in these wonderful Catholic communities causing my normally thick skin to thin. If I had to choose unschoolers or Catholic, I will stay with the Catholic groups - though my ability to not comment on education styles may diminish as time goes on.
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