Unschooling Speech

On Tuesday I had the chance to talk a little about Unschooling at a homeschool meeting - the topic was on different methods of Catholic homeschooling. We were told to plan a 5-10 minute talk about the strengths, weaknesses and why our homeschool method works for our family. I planned the below talk, then the speakers before me talked about their method and how it fit in their family without any kind of speech. I decided last minute to ditch my talk and just wing it (pulling bits of my printed talk in), and it worked out well I think - at least I had a few compliments at the end. I didn't want all my hard work to go to waste, so here is my little speech that I may yet get to give someday:

The term Unschooling brings to mind different images for different people. Some see it as unparenting: allowing kids to do whatever they want whenever they want while parents are uninvolved or stand helplessly on the side. Others see it as a retaliation against any kind of learning or education. Many worry that kids can never learn what they will need to know or will never learn the discipline needed to succeed in life unless they are forced to “Do school.” When John Holt coined the phrase in the 70s he called it unschooling because it was exactly that: the opposite of school. Now “school” is not education, nor learning, nor it is discipline. School is an institution where children are sent for 6 hour a day, 180 days a year to be taught by a professional, not based upon their abilities or needs, but based upon what a group of professional educators have decided all kids born in the same year “should” know. Whereas Unschooling is learning everywhere, all the time by everyone a child meets based upon their abilities, needs and interests. God created us to be curious about the world and to learn from every experience. This is most evident in babies and toddlers who are fascinated by everything and gain new abilities almost daily as they imitate what they see around them, however it is also true for the 40 year old who finds a new faster way to work or the 70 year old who just started using a computer. We are always learning because that is what God made us to do – whether we like it or not.

How does a parent fit into unschooling? First, by observing and talking with each child to see what their needs and interests are and then by finding resources, whether that be modeling an example, discussion, books, classes, tutoring, and so on to meet those needs and interests. How exactly Unschooling looks in any family differs day to day, year to year and child to child. I have heard it called Organic Learning and in many ways that is a great description. One day it may be breaking out a textbook, watching a documentary or having a three hour discussion; another day it may be playing Risk or other computer or board games, or going on a field trip to the zoo or OMSI. There is learning to be had in all these activities and unschooling allows the freedom to do whatever works best for that particular moment.

One of the wonders of homeschooling is we can pick and choose what works for our families. With all homeschool methods, including unschooling, it is never all or nothing. You can unschool, but do Math or use a curriculum but unschool science or history or various electives your kids are interested in. We do what works best and change as we need to, so that we can keep going.

First a few weaknesses of Unschooling. Choosing to unschool is so different from what people are familiar with, it is hard to deal with the assumptions, concerns and accusations that people make about unschooling. Homeschooling is becoming better accepted in the main stream, but you will still get comments, funny looks and outright shock or indignation at choosing to “unschool” or at least admitting that you unschool, for all the reasons I already mentioned.

Also, since unschoolers focus more on mastery of a subject rather than grades, it can be hard to prove where a child is academically – which just gives fuel to those who believe academic progress is the way to discern success or failure in one’s education.

Since Unschooling parents don’t have worksheets or grades to discern where their kids are, they have to use other methods to gauge progress. This means observing what a child does with their day, having regular discussions and trying to provide resources for interests that can last anywhere from a few minutes to years. From experience I can tell you, it is frustrating to have one of the kids express interest in a topic which leads to hours finding the best resources or information and then have them spend 5 minutes looking at what was put together and never touch it again. Being available to observe without interfering and time to have discussions as well as find resources can also be hard with all the other responsibilities around the house, but it is critical to successful unschooling.

As a parent it is hard to see your child’s academic weaknesses and yet allow them to continue to steer their own course. I don’t mean to stand back and do nothing, but to have discussions on the value of the skill, set an example using that skill, lay out resources that offer different approaches to the skill and then back off and Let Go. My experience is eventually unschooled children recognize their weaknesses (though it may take years) and they will develop all the skills they need to be successful. God made us inquisitive creatures who learn throughout our entire lives for a reason.

For me, however the benefits of Unschooling far outweigh the challenges. By allowing a child to explore topics as they are ready and for the length of time they are interested, they retain the knowledge faster and with the same joy that you see in young children. The tangible world is right there, ripe for them to touch, taste, handle and sometimes break. Once a new skill is mastered, it is incredibly gratifying to watch even my 12 year old excitedly share that skill with siblings, family and friends. Because a curriculum is not set out step by step, telling my kids what they ‘should’ be doing, they are free to talk about what interests them and ask for instruction or help when they want to learn something new. Unschooled children know they need to seek knowledge rather than passively wait for topics to be presented to them.

My family life generally is unpredictable between having a new baby every couple years and dealing with crises like unemployment, extended family problems as well as illnesses, allergies, etc. Unschooling allows us to be as flexible as we need to get through year to year. No matter how tired I am, I can always talk to the kids about whatever their current interests are, encourage them to tap into the many resources we have around the house and someone can take them to the library. More importantly, unschooling allows my kids to be aware of and involved in Life. They learned how to cut spending and the importance of a budget when my husband was out of work for 8 months; how to care for my mom who is disabled when she stayed with us; the dangers of addiction and the importance of Faith as we support extended family members who struggle; how to be your own advocate while dealing with the medical community and how to forgive and love unconditionally.

One of my favorite things about unschooling is No Burnout. Every year I try to be supportive as I hear stories of frustration, tears and stress that peak around Spring while it is business as usual in my house. It breaks my heart to hear of families who become so overwhelmed that they put their kids back in school because they can’t keep up or get too burnt out – not because they feel it is the best choice but because they just can’t take any more. I do have homeschool related stress, but it is a different kind of stress and I rarely feel like enrolling my kids in school because of being overwhelmed.

A huge part of not burning out is that there are no academic deadlines. We don’t covet summer break as a time to stop academics and recharge for the new school year, in fact we usually do more academic work in the summer because there is less running around to different classes and activities. Without those deadlines we get to skip out on the guilt associated with meeting school-like benchmarks, and we are free year-round to use classes, co-ops, tutors, etc for specific interests because there isn’t a huge pile of school work to get through daily.

Unschooling works best for my family for many reasons. Between our very limited school budget, several of the kids’ learning disabilities, strong personalities, diverse interests and the unpredictability of our lives, unschooling allows us to explore things at times and in ways that are different than the norm.

For example my oldest has dyslexia and is a perfectionist. By backing off and allowing her to work on reading in her own time, she unlike many dyslexics loves to read and does so regularly. She also discovered a talent for art and a love of literature because she was not forced to work on subjects based upon someone else’s time table. Right now with no pushing from me, she is working her way through history using the Modern Scholar series of college lectures from the library, continuing to explore new mediums of art, is listening to or reading several book series as well as the Taming of the Shrew (her 2^nd Shakespeare play) and designed and built a simple wood end table. In Math she loves puzzles and has been working her way through several seek-and-find and puzzle games on the computer and DS, and she has started working through her first text book because she recognizes this is an area of weakness for her. She can also competently care for her 6 younger siblings, wash laundry, clean and plan and cook meals. This is just the tip of the iceberg, she also takes various classes, goes out with friends and is in many ways your average teenager.

I could go on and on through all of my kids’ diverse interests, but there isn’t time.

Through unschooling my kids are constantly observing and exploring the world. As they have gotten older, due to their freedom to explore they know what they like and they have been able to strengthen those skills. They are also able to see where their weaknesses are and through discussion are aware of how those weaknesses affect their lives. It all comes down to remembering why I am homeschooling in the first place. For me, that reason is I want my children to love learning, be able to find any answer they seek and above all get to heaven. I am preparing them first and foremost for Life and I trust that through prayer God will guide us where they need to go whether that is college prep, a life of holy orders, entrepreneurship or something else.

A quote from Suzie Andres’ A Little Way of Homeschooling that wraps my talk up nicely:

“As far as homeschooling goes, I have stopped trying to find the perfect method (there isn't one), and I've stopped thinking I must produce perfect children by the time they reach the age of 18. Can you believe that I thought it was possible to send my children out into the world as adults perfectly educated, perfectly brought up, perfectly ready to do whatever God wants them to do? And here am I many years older than 18 and I am still struggling along that pathway to perfection with a long way to go. I have learnt to be patient and accepting with myself and I am trying to do the same with my children.”

Update: I honestly could not remember where I got the above quote from, and I am happy to correct it as a quote from one of Sue's emails on an unschool forum. That explains why I couldn't find the quote for verification when I went back through A Little Way of Homeschooling!  It is still a beautiful quote and one that all the mom's at the Homeschool meeting liked and agreed with.